The meaning of purpose

The Perfect Human
An Essay

To philosophize may not be my best course of action. But being the pensive person I am.. to wander and roam through the vastness and the vagueness of the essence of things suits my style, my liking; thus I will continue.

The Perfect Human. The whole idea of progress… perfection…and to some degree, success. I cannot fail to doubt the meaning and purpose of all these things. Sure, if others may be reading this they may say: ‘It’s because you are a loser and such a non-perfect person that you doubt such things.. only those who are, in some way, winners can value and understand the meaning of such things..’

Such criticism hardly bothers me. What I care is about quenching my soul’s thirst - a deep longing, an innermost impediment somewhere within me that has long sought for my attention. So I’ll be direct, in doing so, my writing can be somewhat degraded, due to my unrestrained bluntness. I don’t care. All I want is to express myself, however crudely that may be.

What’s the purpose.
Just tell me. What is the purpose of progress? What is the purpose of success? …
There are no answers, I know that, or else everyone would know it by now. Or am I the only one who doesn’t know? Who knows. There is no reason, no incentive… O, I don’t know, I’ll get straight to the point.

Life is a zero-sum game. We are born from nothing and we return to nothing. I can illustrate this by the following allegory. We are travelers from point A to point A. Life is everything that happens in between, but we must realize that we end up where we started. Even once one achieves something in life, e.g. fame, money, etc etc.. all footprints of oneself.. they will hardly last forever. Time can be ever-so-harsh on these things. Within a few thousand years 99.99999999999% of all individual existence will be forgotten… you might as well have never existed. This is why life is a journey from point A to point A. What happens in between hardly matters..

Or does it? … History is shaped by individuals… suddenly I just had an image of president Bush. Something in my mind clicked.. asking maybe someone like him would not have a life that begins and ends at the same point.

Now this collides with my weakest weakness: my weakness. O.K. O.K. let’s say in every one hundred years there will at least be one person who will be remembered for quite a few future generations.. This is too lofty an aim.. to dream-like, even for me.. forget about it. Unless you get on top of the world, you will not be remembered. (If you’re wondering I’m having a fierce internal conflict within myself about what I should write)

So is this why people try? I don’t think so. Famous people lead hardly perfect lives. Plus let’s do the maths.. in the c. 6 billion people in the world, who will be remembered for a considerable amount of time? Around 100, at most?

If this is a lofty aim for me, I think it will be a lofty aim for others. Or is it? Are they influenced by exactly an image of this, if somewhat differently, or is there a totally different, strong motive behind their drive for progress, success and human-perfection, which I have not noticed yet?

I have no idea.

Now I will really start talking about my weaknesses.

Could it be jealousy.
Pure jealousy.
I don’t know.
If it is, my mind has successfully deceived me. But I am willing to believe in such deception. Could I be so embarrassed about my weakness that I begin to question the meaning of strength? I don’t know. Could I be just a loser who wants to find resort in such arguments? I don’t know.

O.K., I’ve chastised myself, audited myself, now back to business.

I’ve strayed considerably from what I was going to talk about…



I’m a loser who is so out of touch with reality.
Can someone please help me……… reality has become so fragile for me.. almost as if I could break it…. At this very moment reality is shimmering in front of my eyes…… can someone please help me and bring me down to earth..