Why does the world have to be this way?

Miles of confusion wash over me as I feel the full force of my new knowledge of the scale of this world
and the very real sense I feel as me, as an individual, living upon this world inhabited by so many, unfathomable number of people;
all doing their best in their respective localities... all striving for a better life...
I always thought terms like "success"; and "progress" were rather too vague -
Now I realise that I have been the idealistic one - to many people these are real things, real feelings that they work for, live for, die for;
I have seen the haze of a world that one's ego... arrogance... MISUNDERTANDING ABOUT THE WORLD can take them;
I have been dreaming way too much... way out of touch with reality......
Like an angel with broken wings... I only realise it was all a worthless dream, a haze, when I hit the cold stone ground...
And look around me... only to find others way ahead of me........................ far, far away in their own life..

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS WORLD.
I am arrogant. Completely and utterly arrogant, stuck up in my own world....
Wondering why there were so many mismatches.. mistakes... paradoxes.. in my own world..
ONLY TO REALISE OTHERS LIVE IN A COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DIFFERENT WORLD to that of mine...
And that I've been wasting thousands of hours of time
Living in a world where I was everything, I was the main character, others were just minor characters supporting my role; my comfort was everything, I thought my success would be guaranteed... and any mistakes were not part of the true "me"... and that I would always be able to bounce back up... that I had fair chance... that the world will open up opportunities for me...
WELL TIME TO WAKE UP BOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY WAKE UP !!!!
.................................................................................
And then comes the silence.
The depression.
The despair.
The sorrow.
That why does the world have to be this way?
Why, why, why?
............................................
There are no answers......
...................
So much competition..............................................................................................................................................
And then there is the question, the question all people on their knees inevitably ask :
What's the point of trying? What's the point? Others have their lives so perfectly fine-tuned like a machine; they are gifted, talented, rich, powerful, loveable...
And here I am, a decrepid No-body, useless to society, useless for anything.. just another random person living in their own locality... just another random firefly in the myriad of fireflies .. no one will hardly notice as it flickers and fades away...
........................................................................... I wish tears were falling down my cheeks now... but they're not.......
21st Century..
Is it one of the easiest centuries to live in?
Or isn't it?
There are no more wars (as in, serious), better medicine, longer life expectancy, no slavery, a lot more knowledge about this world.. better "aid" stuff....
but really........................................................... is it any better place to live in than any other century?
I mean honestly... I ask this question a lot....
What would I have been like if I was born in some other time... some other place?
Would I be experiencing the dearth of happiness I feel now......... or would there be something more to it?
I don't know...................
.................................................................... I feel that the modern world contains just as much sadness
as the other centuries.........................................................................
Yet a lot of this is hidden...... stashed up somewhere far, far away in people's self... too busy with the meaningless
going-ons of the 21st century............ until they reach a state like me.........
...................
I can find no answers..........
Things are too complicated................................................................................................................