I am lost

I don't know what to do.
The world seems so large.
I don't know where I should take myself.
I don't know what others are doing.
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Where should I take myself?
Where should I be?
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Things that once pleased me give me not a droplet of happiness
I want to find my place in this world

What will other's be doing right now?
Their lives will be so full, so engaging, so full of life, full of plans, full of the future, full of success
And here I am....................... completely at a lost at what I should do

Worrying about the future can be a very morbid thing to.
I wish God could freeze time for me......

The idea of "opportunity cost" is a very depressing idea indeed.
In fact..... thinking of this idea pretty much results me in doing nothing..
For if I do something... then at that moment I won't be doing another... and that would be time flown by.

And here I am lost, lost, lost, lost, completely lost.
I can't think...... seriously I can't decide, I can't do anything
Only shadowy, depressing, threatening thoughts come to my mind..
.........This world is so large........ and I'm so smal................

And we have such a small amount of time to live in.....
..................................I wish there's time
TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME
It's always about time isn't it?

TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME, TIME

TIME IS GOLD
TIME IS MONEY
TIME NEVER RETURNS
TIME GOES FAST

YOUR LIFE WILL ZOOM PAST U B4 U'VE BLINKED UR EYE

Yes........................ they may be wise words..
But to me they might as well be death letters...... I just don't want to face those words...
Whenever I see those words I cower... I look away... I try to forget about it.. I try to think it's not real........................................................................

The thing is, I can't do anything for the fear the I could be doing something else at that time....

And this pretty much puts me at a loss of what to do.

And thus, I do nothing, and time goes by, and I'm left where I am, a weak loser.

.....

I seriously can't make my mind up to do anything

All roads seem to require enormous amounts of time-commitment to a reward that is so small..

And I know that this world is so large that somewhere in this world will be something that I could do that will be a better use of time than whatever I do now

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Time
I'm shackled by time, governed by time.
Frozen by time, beaten up by time, left in shambles by time.
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I mean, the reality is, I could be doing something else right now!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could be catching up on a very heavily-scheduled day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yet I'm at a loss at the value of everything...
and whether anything will be worth the time I invest in it...
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Can someone give me time,
so much time that I could try everything in this world,
be everything in this world.....
in fact be the best in everything in this world..
time, time, time, time..................... our lives are so, so, so, short................................................
Whatever happens after death (it will probably be like a sleep that u never wake up from... an eternal oblivion).......... what matters is what I do with the time I have now

Yet time is so scarce, decisions so many!!!!
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Nothing consoles me now
Nothing can forget me thinking about time now.
It's all over my mind, I won't stop thinking about it until I've decided what I'll do with it

O choices, choices, choices!!!!
Whence did freedom become such a burden?

I'm the type of person who enjoys following orders.
Giving my best within limited parameters;
Making choices between a manageable number of them through logic..

Yet TOTAL FREEDOM is something I've never really expected, come to grips with, in my life.
So many opportunities are open that... ............ ..... I simply can't make any choices.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww........ how painful is the wound of regret?
All these thoughts make me seriously regret the way I've spent time in some days in my life;
Yet....... I can't seem to come to a better solution... or gain enough motivation to..... spend it in any way better....... They all seem so pointless.................................................................................
Sorrow and pain. They go so well together. For that's what I feel.
Can someone tell me what to do?
I can swear I'll be the best at it....... for I'll dedicate all the time in my life to it.
But of course...... I'll be missing out on millions of other opportunities in life.


This dilemma weakens me, saddens me
And all the while I am aging....... time continues to flow
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If I were granted one wish in the world, it would be that :
Time would stop, yet life would go on.
LOL. How arrogant is such a wish! How mistaken!!!
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I remember a saint's prayer:

God grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.
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I am weakened, dismayed by this enormous task I'm facing......
And I again, I leave today with no answers