Why pitying is bad

Pitying is bad because when you pity someone, you implicitly place yourself above them. Sure, you might think that you’re providing ‘love’, ‘care’ and ‘concern’ to those being pitied –

But you make it pretty obvious to them that they didn’t really ‘earn’ your 'love / concern', that you are only doing it because you feel you are above them, and you feel that hence you possess the power/right/position to be the one who 'pities', whereas the other person lacks that power/right/position hence is the one who is 'pitied'.

You think that you’re the only one in control; that they only exist to receive your pity; that they're 'under' you, hence they 'deserve' your pity, by virtue of being in that perceived position...

Why did the phrase ‘as cold as charity’ arise when charity is supposed to be a 'good' thing?

Because, in my view, so often charity was (and sometimes still is) based on pity.

Pity is designed to seperate - to seperate between you, the pitied, who is 'under' me, and myself. What this constructs is a chasm between those that pity and those that are being pitied.

Heh. Never would it occur to the person who pities that perhaps - they may one day be the person at the receiving end. To them, pity would be something they would be all-too-willing to give, but all-too-unwilling to receive.

And I guess this is why pity doesn't constitute true love. LOVE is something you will be BOTH willing to give and receive. Why the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated yourself describes love so well. No one, in their right mind, would go 'looking for pity' - often, being pitied is a last resort which they must endure - because they know what those that pity you really feel - that they are above you, somehow more valuable as human beings than you.

To pity anyone is wrong.

To love them - horizontally - no power-relationships - this is true love. To embrace who you would otherwise 'pity' as fellow brothers-in-arms. To embrace them as being just like you. To acknowledge that you are no better than them - that you are just as frail and weak a human being as them, but that at the same time both you and them are strong, willed human beings too.

Only at such an equal-footing can true love be given and received. Only upon such an acknowledgement.

Always think of this especially when you try to love or care about someone who society otherwise labels as 'lowly' - because they are not, and with those 'vertical', 'power' spectacles you will never practise true love. When you see beggars, when you see criminals, when you see disaster-victims, when you see addicts, when you see disabled people, when you see orphans -

Know that really, you are no different to them, they are no different to you, and THIS is why we should care about them and love them. NOT because we are 'above' them in any way.