Where does one acquire social skills?

I just can't do it.

It is too hard...

We are born as who we are, how on earth are we meant to change it?

I read all those shyness manuals out there, they say the ultimate solution is to "be yourself"

Right. K. Continue being that shy self, socially inept self. Right. Suuure that will help?...

I don't know. There are things that can change in this world. Oneself is definitely not part of that.

What really is self-evident is: No matter how hard you try...

You can't change who you are.

I look back at the past.
Sure, there were impetuses to change. Sure, there was effort. In fact, excruciating, painstaking effort. What others seemed to achieve with seamless ease, I had to work so hard to "try" and achieve it. Result? Of course I couldn't. I just couldn't change myself. I just couldn't. It's too hard...

One thing I want to know. Where on earth, how do you acquire social skills? ... This problem really exacerbates as one ages. As one grows older, when people notice you lack social skills, they just don't approach you. (whether from dislike, or they're worried they'll become uncomfortable/self-conscious themselves) And then the problem worsens. One is denied the simple chance to experiment, the opportunity to try; in fact, a socially inept individual must make more effort than the normal person to... just acquire those skills, for barriers are erected before them by society, along with closed-mindedness. In fact it becomes all but impossible.

Socially adept individuals like to hang out with... other such individuals. There simply isn't any reason, any motive for them to bother try to mingle with inept ones. Actually, some of the nicer ones do try; however they give up pretty promptly, out of either frustration or boredom.

In such a way, socially inept individuals become isolated. There sheer chances of improving their social skills becomes nil, and this becomes a vicious feedback loop. There really is no way out.

Social skills, in my view, is just one of those critical things a person must learn at a very young age. By this I mean, as a baby or in kindergarten - even the early years of elementary school doesn't cut it, complex social networks/relationships are already forming in between 5-year olds, barring any latecomers. (I know this from experience!)

I don't know why it's not taught of in the curriculum, when it becomes perhaps the most critical skill later in life. In modern-day life, you don't need to know what 1+1 equals, but you do need a heck of a lot of social skills. Sigh. If you can't learn social skills at that critical age, then you're gone. You're stamped for life, as a socially inept person. It is not difficult to enter that aforementioned cycle.

My soul cries. I can't just one day simply decide to become a more assertive person. Because? This problem is NOT a question of motivation, or of "effort"; it's the problem of denial of opportunity, denial of information, by others, and society itself. The knowledge and, more importantly, application of social skills really is a well-guarded secret in today's society, only held by those who have it already... impossible to acquire, impossible to practice, impossible to discover.

Thank you, society. If you ever wonder why there are dysfunctionals, inept, "weird" people out there, the answer lies not in them, but in yourself.