The Ugly Duckling

There was nothing inherently wrong with the ugly duckling. But in a world that was so different to who he was, all he could do was question. Is there something wrong with me? What is wrong with me? Why are others treating me this way? Why am I so different to everyone else? Why can’t I be like everyone else?

The ugly duckling felt lonely. Alone. He just couldn’t understand the world around him. He saw no hope. He was all by himself. Everyone was so different. He could not understand anyone. No one could understand him. Nothing made sense. Why me, he thought. Why this cruel fate.

Others found the ugly duckling puzzling. They stayed away from him. He was too different. Too out-of-this-world. Too alien. They didn’t know what to do with him. They could not relate to him.

Through many lonely days and nights the ugly duckling lived. Always feeling out-of-place. Always feeling disconnected. Always feeling alone. He could not understand. He longed to understand, but he could not. It just didn’t make sense. He tried to be like the others. But he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t change who we was. He continued to be that ugly duckling. That mutant. That aberration. That mistake of nature. He felt alone.

Life became an act for the ugly duckling. He tried to quack like the other ducklings – but it never came out like he wanted it to. He tried to copy the others – yet often it just failed miserably. He cried. He didn’t know why life was like this. He didn’t know what he was doing wrong. He didn’t know why he couldn’t be like the others. He was trying, oh yes, he was trying. He was trying like never before. But nothing could change who he was. He cried, and cried.

As the duckling grew older he became good at mimicking the others. But he just knew that really, he was different. Too different from these others. So he felt alone, terribly alone. His glaringly different appearance earnt him many questioning, puzzled looks – from those that were nice; and many indignancies, jibes and mockeries from those that were not. The duckling just continued to cry. This wasn’t what he wanted from life. Yet what could he do? How could he change who we was?

No one saw the swan in the ugly duckling.

The ugly duckling withered away, never realising who we was, never realising all that he could have been.

***

Let us swap sides for now. If we were the other ducklings – and we find someone so “different”. It is easy to discriminate; it is easy to be miserable to that ugly duckling. You are “normal”; he is “abnormal”. You are “healthy”; he isn’t. You “belong”; he doesn’t. It is easy to just let him cry to sleep by himself. It is easy to just let things be. It is easy to just say “oh well, he’s just a miserable mutant, why is it any of my business” and forget about it. It is easy.

So many people’s beautiful lives are quashed like this because they are “different” in some way. They are banished and forgotten. No one sees past the differences. No one sees hope. No one sees anything good coming out of those that are different to them. Difference = bad.

It is easy to label the ugly duckling as ugly and call it a day. No one sees past the ‘ugliness’ of the ugly duckling. No one sees all that he could be and can be. No one sees the unique ways in which that ugly duckling can contribute to their society. No one sees what unique perspectives the ugly duckling might be able to provide. No one sees what unique talents the ugly duckling might possess that may benefit them all. No one sees what wonders the ugly duckling might be able to show them.

Or worse – they might ‘see’ such things, but actively suppress them. Because they are scared and afraid. They want the status quo. This ugly duckling becoming a part of their lives is a frightening concept. They don’t want that to happen. So they banish the ugly duckling. They obliterate the ugly duckling from their minds.

It takes courage to nurture that ugly duckling. To see the ugly duckling as more than being just ‘ugly’. It takes courage, and strength, to see past difference. It takes courage to embrace him. It takes courage to see the good in him. It takes courage to ask the ugly duckling to be all that he can be. It takes courage for us to give the ugly duckling a chance. A chance at life.

And then – then – perhaps then –

Suddenly we realise him transforming to a swan right before our eyes

Not because anything inherent about him changed

But because the way we perceive him has changed

And we accept him, embrace him as a part of us –

A unique part of us.