My Tears

You can't have a conversation with me.

You talk about something and it is as if it flies right over my head.

You search for responses but there are none.

You want me to say something but I don't.

You want me to react but I just sit there.

You want me to comment but I don't.

I just sit there, I just stand there -

Like a lame duck;

A stone statue.

You think to yourself -

What a boring guy he is. Does he have any humanity at all?

I don't know anything.

I don't sense anything.

It all flies over my head.

I know -

Superficially, "officially", customarily, scholastically, formally;

But I do not know -

Truly, humanely, emotionally, touchingly.

I am -

Someone you could talk to about the answers to an exam question -

But not someone

You can have a casual conversation with

About the weekend

About friends

About the weather

About our lives

About little things

I probably appear

Overly stoic;

"conservative";

tight-mouthed;

old-fashioned;

Unconcerned. Unenthusiastic. Unappreciative. Disliking people, and their lives.

It is -

At the end of the day -

These small things that grip me;

And wrench my heart.

I wish -

I dearly wish -

that I was a more talkative person. That I could... talk more...