Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Follow what you love, or be punished

No punishment hurts more than that coming from what you love the most.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

The beauty of a child's innocence

Upon conflicting values yet again do I return here.
The adult world is so plagued with rottenness...
Progress and development has backfired... look what those things without a pure direction has landed adults in.
Deceit. Lies. Suspicions. Money. Various types of self-justified "success."
That's all they talk about, think about.
They lose the innocence that is so uniquely human that only, so heartbreakingly, belongs to children.
Here I am, on the virge of childhood and adulthood.
From here, I can look into both directions.....
and I can assure you, unlike what my peers would say, I think the childhood is far more colourful and true. From here it's a bleak downhill roll.
Now I can emphasise with so many children's authors.
Peter Pan... Phillip Pullman...
They know, that once we get into the adult world......................................
That nothing is as pure and true as childhood.
........................
Why do we age?
The sort of examples of "adults" I see hardly encourage me to become like them.
It questions me why one must turn from a child to an adult.
Why degrade oneself from so perfect and innocent a form to a deceitful and meaningless a creature?
Maybe it's the saddest fate everyone has to acquiesce.
......................................................................
Adult's world... so full of meaninglessness..... so self-justified
So stuck up in the race for better survival......... that valueable qualities that they all once possessed as a child are forgotten... ignored......... totally desensitised, their life becomes a dull shade of grey.
Frankly, I don't know why they live.
....
I would love to see adults weak.
That's why I love watching people in wars and disasters.
It brings their true self out... especially adults from their reserved masks.... I love to see faces of desperation... at least it is honest... I would do anything to see a genuine smile or a tear from an adult... at least it will be honest...... So much deceit... in this world...
...
They say a person becomes a child three times in their life.
One, when they're a child. Two, when they have their first baby, and realise how valueable a thing they're missing out on in their bleak lives. Three, when they become old, nearing the end of life's journey, and see that, after all that, all those adult-things are meaningless; that a child's imagination can bring more joy than a billion dollars for an adult.
.................................................................................................
Please, can someone stop the cogwheel of time... please, please.....T.T I don't want to become a dirty adult myself and forget all these valuable thoughts I had as a child... please, please...

Prejudice

.............
How thick can it get?
How many veils must our eyes shed before we can see the world... properly?
...........
so much, so much, prejudice is ripe in this world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
makes me so sick...
If I ever thought I was prejudiced.. well I was rightly mistaken
The degree to which others are prejudiced in this world is so sick it just make me wanna vomit
It's so disgusting... prejudice..............
All they can think is in their own perspective, in their shitty ways, unwilling to accept any new, flexible ways of thinking....... just stuck in their own egoistic ways of thinking.. purely disgusting
...............
That is why I love "pure" literature
where people are "truthful" about this world...
"honest" about themselves, and this world, admitting that they know such a little about themselves and this world... that things are a lot more profound than what they may seem at first glance... and the fact that this world is far from an idealistic utopia which no-one really needs but is rather a very unique place in its own precious way... that many a connection can be made where no man has ventured before...
I donno... I just seem to like these new ways of thinking... at least it is far better than prejudice-muddled, disgusting ways in which some people think......
---------------
I donno... is it the essaic education, the emphasis on debating, the evermounting pressures we get in having to self-rationalise, self-justify oneself? The endless emphasis society puts on a rigid and strong "SELF"? Could this all be blameable for those stubborn, prejudice-ridden people who just can't seem to change the way they think, to accept or at least try to think in the perspective of others?
.........
I mean, all this makes me remember a "talk" I had with this dude - it was funny how he was trying to force me into a dichotomy so that our discussion could be polarised, and that our opinions could then "clash"... he evidently enjoyed such clashes... but I didn't... I'm disgusted by those sorts of arguments when one knows one is evidently wrong (or in severe cases, they don't) but one keeps arguing for one's EGO'S SAKE..
.........
I think true bravery lies not in forcing one's opinion or views into others but in accepting one's own fallacies and BEING CONVINCED by others. It requires far more courage and bravery to BE CONVINCED than to convince... for it may require humiliation, self-denial and self-contradiction, even a re-look at, or the re-construction of, one's own values. This is a tough call for many people and they fail to do this. Thus, their prejudices remain, and stay with them as they live their lives. A pitiful reality really.
.. I mean, within one second that guy begun, I was immediately convinced by his ideas and immediately withdrew what I was saying.
....
That flabbergasted expression of his, of not being able to have another heated, prejudice-ridden argument ... an empty victory that he couldn't savour.. that image is something I will never forget. It is also something that I secretly find amusement at, whenever I see replicas of him all around the world... people trying to fuel their ideas into one another like it was worth all the world and more, trying to say only their opinions are valuable.. ........ smirk.

P.S. not only do I hate dichotomy, but I hate those who try to be "clever" and resort instead to trichotomy (lol) - "black" "white" "shades of grey", I mean, hello? what's the difference... it's only a tool for you to justify what you're saying.. why does it matter........
I've grown so tired of those sorts of arguments that they just fail to interest me... the way people overuse them really... its a shame.. in essence they could have been interesting concepts...