Disconnection

I have known disconnection for many years.
I have known it for my life.
To feel isolated from the rest of the world. In many, many ways.
To feel that you are not one of them… in many ways.
There are some barriers in this world
Some clefts in this world
Nothing can traverse
No “understanding” –
Or any vain attempt at it –
Can ever traverse these gaps.

Some things are just … different.
You. And I. Are just different.
And it is with lethargy one feels that barrier. It is with sadness. It is with sorrow.
Being a world apart from everyone else…
Feeling an alien amidst everyone else…
One can try to conform – but it is pretension, pitiful pretension – and I have long ceased trying that.

A gulf that can never seal
An understanding that can never occur
We think totally differently…
We may inhabit the same physical planet
But alas, we’re worlds apart…
We just perceive things so differently..

I will never be able to view this world the way you do …
You will never be able to view it the way I do…
It is an irreconciable gap created from a life of… difference; and everything before life itself
You can try, oh you can try.
But it’s pointless, you’ll get nowhere near. It’s just too hard. Unless you have lived my life, you will remain an unfathomable distance from me.

And it is in this sense, in this painful sense –
That I feel alone.

Because I think so differently to other people. We perceive the same things oh-so-painfully-differently. We interpret things, we think about things, oh-so-differently. We value such different things. You try to find common ground? THERE IS NO COMMON GROUND. In fact, thanks to everyone so far for not bothering.

I sometimes try to come up with the “human-argument” – that there is a common ground, that of “being human”. But it’s just pitiful. Plainly pitiful. In reality that is such a small ground because no-one considers it seriously. Only in the direst of circumstances does it become apparent, and only in a minor way. Thus, the fact that you-and-I are both “human” is a VERY weak argument. It’s as weak and supposedly self-evident as saying that you-and-I are both composed of matter. It’s pointless. It’s hardly a common-ground for anything but the most basic, officious human interactions, (such as, “where is the lavatory?”) that don’t mean anything much. The point is that everything else is different. The experience of “life” is just utterly, utterly, undeniably, irreconcilably, different. We may run the same hardware but our “software” is incompatible. We’ll never understand eachother.

I would have conversations if I could have someone that could understand how I think, what I value, what I REALLY like, in the deepest sense. Otherwise conversations are a bore just because… we speak very different languages. The language and life that you “speak” of is… incomprehensible to me. The language and life that I speak of is incomprehensible to you. I can pretend, but as I’ve said, I hate pretending, and it’s – so ridiculously tiring. I can’t live a life pretending all-day everyday not being “myself”.

An intraversible gulf. PLEASE don’t try to think that you can traverse a gulf like that. YOU CAN’T, YOU CAN’T YOU JUST CAN’T. You’ll never understand me. My life so far has repeatedly validated this. A life so different, a life a world apart.

And this is why I hate the politico-socio-cultural administrative bullshit. They don’t realise what they’re truly saying. What it really means. They don’t understand someone like me. I’m a ball from the left field. No one ever even EXPECTS something like me. Never thought of in the calculations. A total oddball. Weirdo. Freak. You guys can all mingle and “understand” eachother. K. Well just be aware: you can’t apply that sort of !@!#shit to someone like me. Your attempts to “understand” fail miserably, oh-so-miserably. I am just illegible, incomprehendable, aren’t I? Good. I hope my existence has proved at least something in this ultraconformist world.

The "ideal person"... ?

The "ideal person" in the Western World is

Someone who is "always happy"
Someone who is "always enthusiastic"
Someone who is "always passionate about something"
Someone who is "bubbly"
Someone who "always has a positive attitude"

Someone who "loves to have fun"
Someone who has "an endless sense of humour"
Someone who "never ceases laughing / smiling"
Someone who "knows how to have a good time"

Someone who "is outgoing"
Someone who "gets on well with anyone, anywhere, anytime"
Someone who "can make others laugh"
Someone whom "you can have a casual conversation with"
Someone who "isn't too tense"
Someone who "isn't too serious"
Someone who "doesn't think so much"
Someone who is "down-to-earth"
Someone who "is intelligent, but not too intelligent"

Someone who "can balance work and life"
Someone who "can get a million things done, but still be pleasant and humane in demeanour"
Someone who has "a diverse range of interests, hobbies, skills, and experience"

Well, you look at this sort of thing. And start to wonder. ... is there something missing?

In my view, what this "list" shows is that, at least the Western World, fails to accept the human condition in its entirety.

I cannot say it any more frankly than that.

What MISERY it is, if the human condition only consisted of such happy-go-lucky, "outgoing", hyperactive traits? Just think about it. If the entire human race was like that. Would you want to live in such a world? I most certainly, certainly, would not.

The thing is - we live in such a world already - well, sort of. For everyone is expected to be like that, to qualify as a "normal, healthy human being". Sure - there are people who are NOT like that but - well, either they try to conform, or, are frankly, thought of as "undesirables", and lie at the boundaries of mainstream society.

Any trait deviating from the aforelisted "ideals" are immediately frowned upon, disliked, avoided. It can even get worse and label them as downright pathologies / "psychological conditions"

We live in a world where we "cannot be sad". For that is "depression". We live in a world where we are constantly expected to be "happy". I even want to call it happy-sickness.

We live in such a "superficial" world... where this sort of, shall I say, "external happiness / joviality" matters more than anything else?

I want to espouse the human condition in its entirety

Happiness AND sadness
Extroversion AND introversion
Laughter AND tears
Togetherness AND loneliness
Fellowship AND solitude
Ability AND dis-ability
Optimism AND pessimism
Seriousness AND light-heartedness
Enthusiasm AND disillusionment

For, only then,
can we begin to see humans as humans -

frail, yet strong;
negative, yet positive;
sad, yet happy;
lonely, yet social

In the beautiful fullness of the human condition, that encompasses, espouses, EMBRACES all these things and more.

The Social Stuff

The Academic Stuff is easy. Well not easy per se. But easy. In that I can get the hang of it. I can get into the swing of things. I can enjoy it. I can revel in it; I can get immersed in it. I can find beauty in it; I can be surprised by it; I can find joy.

The Social Stuff is the hard part.

I’m just so shy. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. I’m so silent. So silent. So unassertive. So timid. And people will have a negative opinion because of that. It sucks. Being so quiet.

Everyone will judge me by my quietness. It’s like an overlay, a mask over everything else that I am. They fail to see past it. It places a tinge on everything else. I guess this is what I hate about it. I don’t detest quietness per se, but rather what society thinks about it, and how society judges me with it.

Shyness: Two very different perspectives to the same situation.

This describes me perfectly!

If you're the person on the left you might think that I'm an incredibly boring, untalkative, 'antisocial', stuck-up, kind of guy.

If you're ME, the guy on the right - this is what's happening: suddenly, your mind's gone blank. You have many wonderful ideas, and thoughts regarding what she just said - but suddenly, all of that has just rushed out of your mind. You feel like you're now staring at a blank piece of paper. Meanwhile, time's ticking by rapidly - and the social imperative is that you give an answer. So you hastily say a "no", just to show her that you did not ignore her. You continue to try to think of what to say - but you can't. You just can't, it's like staring at a blank wall. Finally, the other person gives up. The other person leaves, and suddenly, everything you could have said, comes flooding back in.

The same situation.

Two very different experiences.

My Tears

You can't have a conversation with me.

You talk about something and it is as if it flies right over my head.

You search for responses but there are none.

You want me to say something but I don't.

You want me to react but I just sit there.

You want me to comment but I don't.

I just sit there, I just stand there -

Like a lame duck;

A stone statue.

You think to yourself -

What a boring guy he is. Does he have any humanity at all?

I don't know anything.

I don't sense anything.

It all flies over my head.

I know -

Superficially, "officially", customarily, scholastically, formally;

But I do not know -

Truly, humanely, emotionally, touchingly.

I am -

Someone you could talk to about the answers to an exam question -

But not someone

You can have a casual conversation with

About the weekend

About friends

About the weather

About our lives

About little things

I probably appear

Overly stoic;

"conservative";

tight-mouthed;

old-fashioned;

Unconcerned. Unenthusiastic. Unappreciative. Disliking people, and their lives.

It is -

At the end of the day -

These small things that grip me;

And wrench my heart.

I wish -

I dearly wish -

that I was a more talkative person. That I could... talk more...

Who we are

“I’m not sure I can do this.”

He hesitated.

Kash’ir looked him straight in the eye. Into those trembling, wavering pupils.

I believe you can.

There was no hesitancy. There was no wavering. Kash’ir’s eyes pierced through Bash’ir.

The air was still. Tranquil.

Before anyone can believe in you –

You must believe in yourself.

I know you can do it. You’re a beautiful person. Do you know how much I care about you? You might think you’re walking through this world all alone. You’re not. I know how it feels. I most certainly do. You might think no one understands you. I do, I do, I do. Watching you, so painfully reminds me of my youth. I was once going through the very same things as you. I know how it feels, trust me.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. That very step is only possible when one believes in it.

I’m asking you to believe in yourself.

I’m not asking you to be someone else. Why should you? You’re such a beautiful, wonderful, person as who you are. But please don’t trample on yourself. Please don’t quash yourself. Please don’t be so harsh on yourself. Of all things, please don’t limit who you are. What you think is “you” is surprisingly only a small part of you! I want you to be all that you can be. All that you were created to be. All that you were placed on this world to be. I want you to realise this. I want you to discover parts of yourself that you yourself have denied.

For so much of who we are is who we believe ourselves to be.

The Impossible Dream

To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow
To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong
To love pure and chaste from afar
To try when your arms are too weary
To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how far

To fight for the right
Without question or pause
To be willing to march into Hell
For a heavenly cause

And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this
That one man, scorned and covered with scars
Still strove with his last ounce of courage
To reach the unreachable star

- from the song "The Impossible Dream"

I am so used to the bull#!$!$ that is life

Experiences have taught me few things. Life has taught me few things. Here's what they are.

Always expect the world to be unfair.
Always expect for things to go against your way.
Never expect to be rewarded for effort.
Your genes, race and upbringing matter more than whatever else you try to be in life.
Some things are just impossible for some people. Period.
Don't bother beat against a brick wall. Don't try to live an impossible dream.
If things can go wrong, it will, in the worst way possible.
There is no point in life, there is no point in doing anything. It's all a farce, it's all a construct made of thin air and bubbles, which mean nothing.
Everyday life is just a series of things going wrong.
Expect life, the world, everyone, and yourself to be cruel to you.
No one likes you.
Nothing will go right in life. The dream of a peaceful, understanding, fair, happy-go-lucky world is just that - just a dream. It's unrealisable, because of what humans are and what this world is.
As an individual, your "decisions" of "free will" mean !$!$@. They don't really make a difference. What matters more is you getting pushed around by the forces of this crappy world. You can't fight it. You vs. the whole world that's against you. Some odds there.

I donno, that kind of made me feel better. Just describing the truth about this world.

People, people, people ...

I give up. People are too complicated. I will NEVER understand anyone. I will NEVER get on with anyone. They're too complicated. They're too... unexplainable. I can say something about someone and the moment I say it I am wrong because that person is more than whatever I just said. I can think someone as someone and the moment I do that I'm wrong because that person is more than the person whom I just 'thought'.

Basically I can never think about anyone because doing that is just fantasizing. Whatever I say that links to "people" or "society" or "so-and-so" is bull!$#! because I know I'm wrong, I know all of that just exists inside my head far from reality. Go out in the real world and I just realise I've been playing a show inside my head, none of it exists, no person is ever like the "person" I pictured in my head. They're just too complicated, too unpredictable, too irreducible.

I don't know. Humans are too... "precious" for me to deal with. I don't want to screw anyone's life by getting involved with them. Their life is too precious. It's too hard for me to do anything with them. I just... find myself staying away...

The Importance of Doing What You Love

I thought it was overrated.
I honestly thought you could come to love to do anything.
I was wrong.

We are born as different individuals. With different talents, different strengths.
What you must do is follow your stars. Follow your destiny. Follow what your heart desires.

Don't deny what you love. What you love is what you love! Don't try to fool yourself - you can't. You cannot fool your heart. You cannot change who you are.

People think a miserable life is a life out in the streets or something. Being poor. Having no social recognition. Being alone.

No, no, no! Oh what delusion all that is! My answer to all the above: who cares.

A miserable life is a life where you are NOT following what your heart desires.
You could be out in the gutters. You could be out of pocket. But that doesn't matter. You will still be living a worthy, happy, satisfactory life if you are following what your heart desires.

When you are following what your heart desires -
You can endure anything. Nothing can stand in your way.

When you are NOT following what your heart desires -
Even the smallest things will stress you. The most trivial of things will bring you down. You'll be left lost. You'll be left wondering "What on Earth am I doing here? What am I doing with my life?"

Follow your heart's desire. Follow what you love. At all costs.
Heaven helps those that help themselves.
Doors will open when you chase them passionately enough.

NO dream is too lofty. NO goal is impossible.
The question isn't whether things are possible or not. The question is whether you have the guts, the drive, the passion to make these things possible. Whether you are willing to give everything to follow what your heart truly desires.

What miserable life you lead when you are not doing what you want. When you are constantly questioning, doubting yourself. You wonder what on earth you are doing here. You feel like an illegit baby. You feel you are wasting your life...

Do what you love. Follow what your heart desires. Don't listen to other people. They don't feel the same happiness you do when you follow what you want to do. They can't dictate your life - of course they can't... They DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE. The person who best knows oneself is... oneself. The person that can make the best decisions for oneself is... oneself. NO ONE in this world can dictate what your heart desires except... yourself.

Everyone is different. Everyone has different values, motivations. That is why "advice" on what you should do with your life, ultimately FAILS. Because, by very nature, any "recommendations" are... flawed. The only "good" advice I believe someone can give someone else regarding such matter is telling to really spend quality time going over their mind - really getting to know what their heart truly desires - and following it.

When you are following what your heart desires - you can endure anything.
When you are not following what your heart desires - you can endure nothing.

Two very different ways of communicating.

I cannot speak.

I cannot talk.

I cannot communicate.

*

I wish to make two very important distinctions in the art of communication -

social communication, and

purely functional communication.

The irony is, that much of the time, both use the same vehicle called language. But, the latter is, by far, the simpler one. The latter, is something a machine can do. The latter, is something that can be "learned" quite easily.

What I am referring to is 'pure' information exchange. This is simple. In fact, one need only but the simplest means to achieve this. Also it's 'universal', in the sense that anyone can 'learn' to do it, and also, the identity of the sender and receiver doesn't matter. They're just passing on information. One cannot care less about who it is that is the messenger.

Social communication.

This is a completely different beast, though it is an emergent form of communication that arises "from" functional communication. However, it is much more complex. A mistake one can oh-so-easily make is to equate this unique form of communication with that of pure "information-exchange".

Oh how wrong that is! Oh how misleading! Oh how... unforgivingly irreconcilable those two forms of communication are!

To prove my point: disastrous consequences arise if one interprets social communication as purely functional communication.

And let me tell you this - the skills used in the above two forms of communications are completely, utterly, different. I may even go as far as to say that our brain process these two forms in different ways.

Let me illustrate what I mean. I'm not trying to be pedantic in differentiating these two forms of communication. These are real differences that I feel everyday.

A scientist who writes a brilliant, Nobel-prize winning, succint, complex, paper ... may find it hard to exchange 'social niceties' with a cashier at the local supermarket.

A novelist, or a poet, may write one of the most resounding, heart-moving works of our lifetime ... but it may be impossible to have a 'casual conversation' over a cup of tea with them.

A brilliant orator may speak one of the most inspiring speeches ever; yet at a dinner party afterwards, they may not have a clue how to speak to other, actual, people.

Note in illustrating the above, I have shown just how wide the scope of "functional" (information-exchange) communication can be. It may even strongly touch people emotionally (as in the novelist / orator example) BUT, with all that said, it is still distinct from "social" communication.

I don't know.

I don't know how one becomes adept at that obscure art of social communication.

I guess it's some genetics. And socio-psycho-cultural upbringing and exposure.

But one thing resoundingly, heart-wrenchingly clear is that one can be ever-so-capable in one area, but can be completely deficient in another.

Oh the irony! Oh the misery ...

When everyone is right; when no road is commendable over any other...

Can someone tell me -

What do you do

When everyone is right;

When no road is commendable over any other road;

When no pursuit is any more valuable than any other;

When no way of life is 'better' than any other;

When no personality or character is more worthy than any other;

Can someone tell me

Of this myriad of equal and diverse ways;

What life I should lead...

Misanthropes, friendships.

No man is in the deepest sense a misanthrope
Ironical as it seems, it is society that creates misanthropes

Those that are similar are bound to come together
They don’t even have to ‘try’ –
Things just fall together naturally like matching pieces

What great feeling it is to have someone else’s heart resonate with yours;
What a great sense of place you have in this world
When you have someone else to vindicate you too -
To reassure you that you are not alone;
That their heart beats, their mind moves, in a similar way to yours ...

If you have to 'try' -
Then you're with the wrong person :).

The thing about true friendships, and true love is that -
You can just be yourself -
You need not 'try', in any sense, at all -
And things will just unravel naturally
Magic will occur from the unmagical
You will marvel at how things just, simply, 'happen'...

Misanthropes don't really exist
There only exist people that can never understand them.

Misanthropes and loners can have friends too.
Someone just needs to show them that it is possible.
Someone just needs to show that it does not require perhaps as a big effort as they imagine it to be.
Someone just needs to show that they really are not alone, that there are others like them too...

What it means to be alone.

Being alone is not about being physically isolated -

It is about being socio-culturally isolated.

One can be amidst a million people yet still be alone.

It is being utterly, irreconcilably different to all other people. Socially, culturally.

Of course, there are certain things, that as humans we share with other people - but in everyday life, these barest of 'lowest common denominators' don't really play much of a part.

This incomprehendable difference, rift and gulf between oneself and others produces and perpetuates the loner. One is irrevocably seperated and continues to drift further and further away from other people.

There are very few things normal people will 'have in common' with loners. They are socio-cultural aliens. Incomprehendable, irrecognisable. An enigma. Someone best to 'leave alone' - as you can see, the creation of a loner is a two-way process.

Mired in social anomie.

Cryptic. Incomprehensible. Irreconcilable

These words describe things in either directions - I view society like that; society views me like that.

Why pitying is bad

Pitying is bad because when you pity someone, you implicitly place yourself above them. Sure, you might think that you’re providing ‘love’, ‘care’ and ‘concern’ to those being pitied –

But you make it pretty obvious to them that they didn’t really ‘earn’ your 'love / concern', that you are only doing it because you feel you are above them, and you feel that hence you possess the power/right/position to be the one who 'pities', whereas the other person lacks that power/right/position hence is the one who is 'pitied'.

You think that you’re the only one in control; that they only exist to receive your pity; that they're 'under' you, hence they 'deserve' your pity, by virtue of being in that perceived position...

Why did the phrase ‘as cold as charity’ arise when charity is supposed to be a 'good' thing?

Because, in my view, so often charity was (and sometimes still is) based on pity.

Pity is designed to seperate - to seperate between you, the pitied, who is 'under' me, and myself. What this constructs is a chasm between those that pity and those that are being pitied.

Heh. Never would it occur to the person who pities that perhaps - they may one day be the person at the receiving end. To them, pity would be something they would be all-too-willing to give, but all-too-unwilling to receive.

And I guess this is why pity doesn't constitute true love. LOVE is something you will be BOTH willing to give and receive. Why the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated yourself describes love so well. No one, in their right mind, would go 'looking for pity' - often, being pitied is a last resort which they must endure - because they know what those that pity you really feel - that they are above you, somehow more valuable as human beings than you.

To pity anyone is wrong.

To love them - horizontally - no power-relationships - this is true love. To embrace who you would otherwise 'pity' as fellow brothers-in-arms. To embrace them as being just like you. To acknowledge that you are no better than them - that you are just as frail and weak a human being as them, but that at the same time both you and them are strong, willed human beings too.

Only at such an equal-footing can true love be given and received. Only upon such an acknowledgement.

Always think of this especially when you try to love or care about someone who society otherwise labels as 'lowly' - because they are not, and with those 'vertical', 'power' spectacles you will never practise true love. When you see beggars, when you see criminals, when you see disaster-victims, when you see addicts, when you see disabled people, when you see orphans -

Know that really, you are no different to them, they are no different to you, and THIS is why we should care about them and love them. NOT because we are 'above' them in any way.

Silence with grace

Let me reveal to you today a truth that those who medicalise, label and stigmatise silence never realise.

I have realised that there are two types of silence in this world: silence with awkwardness, and silence with grace.

We are all too familiar with the first type of silence.

But here’s a thought: Do awkward silences exist insofar as one decides to feel awkward in that moment of silence? And then that such perception perpetuates itself; one actually starts acting awkwardly, uncomfortably; the silence is unbearable and one wants to do something about it.

Yes, that is the only type of silence that this modern world seems willing to recognise.

Silence in itself is a lost virtue in today’s world.

*

I wish to suggest and live a second kind of silence -

Silence with grace.

What is this?

It is to embrace silence. To enjoy silence. To cherish it; to revel in it.

It is NOT treating silence as a source of awkwardness - no, no, no!

It is to live a graceful silence; where one has accepted one's silence and embraces it.

Accepting, enjoying tranquility.

A problem is only a problem insofar as one continues to perceive it as a problem. One's silence will cease to be a problem when one has accepted it, invited it to be a part of oneself.

And then, one will start to become a 'master of silence' - where one enacts silence to a degree that... it is no longer 'awkward' to them; it is natural, it is part of themselves, and hence one will be able to show what it means to be silent with grace.

This is a truth that those who stimagtise silence will never understand until they actually open their eyes and try to understand us as human beings, beautiful as who we are, individual as who we are.

Impromptu speech, on-the-spot thinking, spontaneous creativity, ‘speaker’s block’.

It’s not that I cannot think; rather, it’s the fact that when I am put on the spot my thinking ceases to function.

Often, minutes later, when that spotlight has worn off of me, I can think of a million brilliant things that I could have said.

But… when that spotlight is on me to say something, I cannot think properly!

My mind erases into a blank white slate. I just don’t know what to say. Suddenly, I forget everything. I feel that I need to respond, to say something, but I cannot think of anything. All I see is this blank, whiteness.

Not to mention the incredibly short time ‘society’ allows for a response, before things start drifting off into ‘awkwardness’. It’s certainly in the sub-second range.

So, I guess, it’s wrong trying to think of what to say after someone has finished saying something; rather, you must be actively be constructing your response before the other person has said everything.

Perhaps that’s what I’ve been doing wrong. But then again, sometimes you’re told to speak on very short notice.

I call it an art, really, in such cases – where people begin their talking while they’re trying to think of what to say next. True multitasking. And not saying incoherent things either – all the while saying socially, situationally, grammatically appropriate and coherent things.

I call it spontaneous creativity.

I will even go far as to say this is the origin of human creativity. In my view, human creativity blossomed once language had been invented. Now, people had to be incredibly creative on very short notice to merely have a simply conversation.

I guess something is inhibiting my free-flow too much. The thoughts are there, but something is blocking it.

The Grand Paradox of Human Interaction

I don't know how people enjoy talking about, what to me are quite 'trivial' matters.

Let me list what to me are the list of boring, trivial topics people seem to enjoy talking about:

- asking 'how you are' 'how it's going'
- the weather - not just today, but how it has been / will be for the past month / year.
- how bored they are of working / doing something / being here.
- other people. (and what they think of them)
- past interactions with someone else. ("I was like ...." "He was like ...." etc.)
- The Weekend - what they did, plans for it.
- when the next break will be. What they want to eat or drink. Or, comments on what they did eat or drink in the last break.
- their / others' clothes.
- How they 'feel'. (No, not the 'grand' feelings such as intense sorrow / happiness.. just the mild, trivial 'feelings'.)
- latest TV show / music / movie.
- 'neighbourhood' or 'in-group' news / current events. (No, not 'world events')
- Their domestic life.

Yeah. To me they just seem like trivial topics 'not worth' talking about. I guess this is why I often can't think of what to say - I just don't value the above sort of things, whereas other people clearly do! Well, I'm fine with that. I don't want to have conversations about 'nothing'. Sure, they call it 'social lubrication' or whatever, but... I don't wanna do it - yes - even at the expense of social interaction, because... I don't want to be doing something I don't want to.

Why can't people talk about things more interesting!!!

Companionship

I guess all I want in life is simple.

I just want some companionship.

Real companionship... someone whom I can share things with...

Someone whom to casually just talk to...

Someone to be just there for me.

They don't have to do anything, they don't have to say anything;

Just be there for me...

Not speaking a lot takes its toll after a while ... you just want someone to talk to.

The power of labels

The human brain works in a funny way.
The moment we label something, we lose our ability to see much beyond that label.
For example – if you label oneself –
You may end up limiting yourself to that label, like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Sometimes it’s best not to label at all.
Then they can be ‘free’.

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Descriptions are tricky things.

By describing something, we are summarizing something, in some ways, reducing something to that description.

We must remember – descriptions often fail to capture everything; we lose / distort large amounts of ‘information’ as we try to ‘capture’ objects / phenomena of the world in words / other media.

This is why I think ‘theories’ differ from ‘reality’ – theories, by their very nature, simplify things down – intentionally or not – hence they fail to ‘encompass’ or ‘capture’ everything.

Also, in my view, we say a literature / work of art is ‘good’ when they in fact do manage to ‘capture’ surprisingly a lot - things that we often fail to capture in normal ‘descriptions’. To borrow Alexander Pope’s words, good writing / art expresses -

“What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed.”

In fact, this quote was said about wit. Indeed, sometimes humour ‘captures’ certain things unexpectedly well. (And perhaps part of why we find things 'funny')

Sometimes, narratives, or ‘personal stories’ may capture more than ‘hard, factual’, accounts.

Sometimes, not telling certain things – omitting certain things may tell more than including them. It may ‘capture’ the essence of something more than trying to brutally describe everything. There is a quote I remember from high school English class that I’ll never forget – “Always show, never tell.”

I always kind of wondered why there were so many different forms of writing / art. I'm slowly starting to understand - each form captures certain things other forms cannot. Sure, we can interpret from one form to another - as you would translate between languages. For example, one can 'describe' a poem using prose. But no matter what you do, it will fail to capture everything in that poem; to do that reliably... one will have to write the poem itself.